One of the cards in the gallery walk read:
“To deny ones sexuality is to kill ones soul” As a straight man, I do not see this. I’d love to see someone defend this.
Hiding such an important aspect of yourself as your emotional and sexual attachments -- or suffering great losses for not hiding them -- creates deep-seated shame, anger, internalized hatred, and isolation. You are attacked, hated, and discriminated against just for being who you are.
LGB (Lesbian, gay, bisexual) people are in a double bind – “denying ones sexuality kills the soul.” When a person denies their own sexuality, represses it, they are cut off from essential human needs: acceptance, connection, community, understanding, support, acknowledgement, wholeness, authenticity, integrity, self-expression, as well as loving, romantic ties and sexual expression.
When an LGB person chooses to ‘come out’ and live an honest, open life, “denying ones sexuality kills the soul” still applies– except this time it is the wider society that is denying her/his sexuality. This also compromises basic human needs: almost all the needs listed above, as well as receiving respect, having self-respect and self-esteem, and feeling physically and emotionally safe.
So yes, it is damaging to ones humanity/soul when ones sexuality is denied.
-Kelsey
maybe the author - whoever he is! - was not saying that it isn't harmful for someone to pretend that they have a sexual orientation which they don't have, but rather questioning the assumption that we as humans need to fuck each other in order to live complete lives.
ReplyDeletejust another way to interpret the author's comments...
haha yeah I did first think of it that way... but to interpret "sexuality" merely as fucking each other, it doesn't address all the other social implications that go with it -- esp. with gay identity in our culture.
ReplyDeleteWhat is "sexuality" anyway? to be in love with someone's penis or vagina? does defining yourself as straight or gay simply mean that you have decided to only love people with a certain kind of genitalia? what does love have to do with genitalia anyway? saying that you are straight or gay is like saying "oh, i'll only consider being in love with you if you act this particular way and look this particular way and have this particular set of biological reproductive organs." does love even enter the picture with straight or gay? or is it just fucking?
ReplyDeletei mean, i get it. i think we all "get it" being a part of this culture. i define myself as straight! its just wierd when i write it like that. maybe fighting heterosexism doesn't mean making it ok to be gay or straight but losing these labels entirely. i'm not straight - i'm simply in love with someone of the opposite sex.
how did something as deep and beautiful as your love for someone else get lumped under a word like "sexuality". so rarely - too rarely - is sex coupled with true love. we need a new word. one that doesn't have such strong associations with rubbing genitals.
how is this related to the discussion? to deny one's sexuality does not kill one's soul. to deny love... that is another story.
p.s. this is devin and i wrote the first comment too
looking at sexuality as intercourse i totally agree with devin, and hopefully we'll be addressing the asexual argument/maybe antisexualism in class at some point...if not....i'll write in this thing about it.
ReplyDeletehowever, sexuality is of course much more that just intercourse and in that sense the "killing of one's soul" position makes perfect sense to me, because it's denying a part, a large part, of one's identity.
lastly, moving beyond labels is super 3rd wave and i approve. that's something i love about having a class with jordana is her emphasis that we create our world through our language, and that we need to be intentional activists with our words.
-addie
definition of straight
ReplyDelete1. Extending continuously in the same direction without curving: a straight line.
2. Having no waves or bends
does that mean gays are crooked and bent? i agree with you devin, straight is a terrible word. so are all of the categories for sexual identity. why must i decide. currently I am in a heterosexual relationship, if all i was in love with was his genetalia than my life wouldn't be so peachy. I am currently sitting next to him, both on different computers, with seinfeld on in the backround. It doesn't have to be a man next to me right now. it could be a woman, and we would probably be silent on our computer, shit, she might even be looking at fantasy football!
SEVER