Hey folks. Sydnie here. I've been feeling like there is a bit of a shut down latley in regards to communication within the classroom(and as I am becoming more acquainted with it, the blogspace). I wanted to first own up and apologize for the last statement I made in class today about how "the discussion was just going around in circles"...I do feel that way, however, I should have owned that statement as a personal feeling and not an assumption...sorry for the way that was phrased.
I guess the point of this post is to air some things out...I feel like the way we have been addressing each other latley hasn't been coming from a place of respect or understanding. This isn't to say that I expect everyone to understand or agree with everyone else's beliefs or opinions, but I do think that in order to create an effective and safe learning enviornment, people should feel like they can share their opinions openly in the classroom with limited hostility. This isn't just about today's class...I have felt this many times before and I have been feeling lately that the ways in which we have been communicating with one another have been somewhat limiting...I am having a hard time allowing myself to open up and share my deep personal opinions about some issues we address in class...I feel like I have a lot of triggers I am afraid to address publically in class because I don't know how they will roll with you all...I am totally owning this little blurb as my personal feelings about our communication stuff...but I was curious if anyone felt the same way? Or maybe you might feel opposite? I don't know...How do you all feel about the space we have created for one another?
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Hey Sydnie, it's addie,
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad you wrote this, and thanks for the apology - that's really cool.
After reflecting on what you've written here I think I feel where you're coming from. Certainly today I was stumbling through my own feelings, and I was stumbling in way that was very much about ME, as opposed to one that was an educative process.
In other instances as well I can really see how we have gotten off track with our languaging, and I appreciate your feedback. I agree that we need to be speaking to each other from our hearts as well as our heads. That is the feminist thing to do.
I am committed to having a steady, intentional connection to my heart in our class and I hope others will do the same. This material is INTENSE and in real time, we need to collectively aikido our way through tough times with the text, and with each other.
As I was commenting to Jordana after class today, I (we) should always remember that we are EARLY in our intellectual development when it comes to these subjects, and we need to slow down and be easier on ourselves. Remaining curious in our passion is the golden key to doors that are socially constructed, leading to truths that are individual and collective all at once.
also, bahahaahahhahahahahahha to that video you posted, i can't believe some of the stuff they were singing!!!!!!!! weird contrast to Sister Sufragette in Mary Poppins....
ReplyDelete-addie
Thanks Syd. I think with such difficult topics that we talk about in class it is important to check in and make sure we are all talking about the same thing. I think we are having a communication problem and what I like to do is when I get stressed or confused, I like to ask clarifying questions, not targetting question, but just questions that help me to stay focused and understand what is being said. Thanks for your apology. Love ya.
ReplyDeleteSarah E roisman
I'd like to apologize to everyone. Hostility, I am learning, is definitely the way in which I 'shut down' and when it happens - I am not really aware of it happening. I am working on that. I realize I can be an intense person and I'm sorry if I have ever made you feel attacked or unsafe emotionally (I really hope I haven't made anyone feel unsafe physically!). This is not my intention.
ReplyDeleteThanks,
Devin
Hey Devin--
ReplyDeleteThis is in no way directed at you-or anyone in particular...but I really appreciate your own acknowledgement of these things...and I hope we are creating a space for you to feel supported in your ideas and opinions as well.
-Syd
Hi, everyone! I must say,...I love you all and feel very grateful to be journeying with you through this experience. I am posting, here, what I've sent via e-mail, as well, since it's very relevant to the thread you've started, Sydnie. Thank you each for posting your thoughts, feelings, and honesty.
ReplyDeleteAddie and I touched base after class, and we wanted to reach out to you to express a few things.
First, we (she and I) are not at odds with one another, and our intent was certainly not to make anyone feel ill-at-ease.
Second, we realized that the conversation may well have gotten derailed (and subsequent misunderstandings or hurt feelings may have ensued) because of the focus on women, rather than it being on 1) the consumers and 2) the broader, systematized and oppressive structures within which women live.
Please hear that I am not judging any woman’s individual “choice.” I would never presume to do that.
My critique is of the larger structure that consistently reinforces, both consumerism and sexism, in ways that afford few women complete autonomy.
Anything that can be purchased within a consumeristic, capitalistic paradigm becomes an object and is, thus, inherently devalued.
Additionally, those consumers who see nothing wrong with purchasing and commodifying women’s bodies often operate in larger systems of influence, which has the effect of globalizing sexist modes of oppression through consumer means, as we have read all-too-painfully in Global Woman. It is not a stretch to see how those consumers who participate in buying women in the U.S. make an easy leap to sex tourism and buying women, like 15-year-old Siri in Thailand.
All of this to say, we welcome discourse and disagreement in our class and we also want to be sure that the concepts we’re discussing are engaged with in productive, comprehensible, and generative ways. Disengagement and negative feelings (toward the readings or individuals) is not what we want to happen in our cohort.
Let’s find a time, soon, where we can provide safe space for both processing some of our emotions and focus on solution-oriented, hope-inspiring actions that we can take to start changing the system.
Though I’d like to stay after the video tomorrow night, I realized I have a conference call with one of my graduate students at 9pm, so I’m going to throw it out there that if anyone would like to gather this Wednesday at our regular class time, I will be there. (Let’s meet in Sinagua B, as the rest of the school will be closed, but I have keys to Sinagua.) If Wednesday doesn’t work for folks, but you’d like the space and time to do this, please “Reply All” to the e-mail I sent the class with some alternate suggestions. Many thanks, and with deepest gratitude to you all,
-Jordana
Thanks Addie for using the magical word curiosity! I want to break it down for fun.
ReplyDeleteCuriosity: the desire to learn or know about anything; inquisitiveness
Lets be curios about each others' ideas, thoughts, opinion, etc. Lets use every discussion as a learning opportunity! Remember, although we may not be able to change each others' minds on certain topics, we can certainly gain tidbits of info within our discussions to use in the future within the larger social structure we are working against.
-Trina
To parrot everyone else, thank you for bringing this up Sydnie.
ReplyDeleteI feel that it is a pretty emotionally safe space, but we can always improve. But I do hear you in that I wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing anything too super personal. But I do generally feel that it is respectful and learning and curiosity are still our main focal points.
To speak for myself, my communication style isn’t particularly suited for the fairly rapid-fire type discussions we have in class. I always feel that I have much to weigh in on but usually am not super strong in articulating myself vocally, so I just feel intimidated/rushed, aka I’m more tai-chi than aikido (addie that made me lol all over the place). I also tend to process things a lot before sharing, so usually by the time I’ve worked ideas out in my head the convo has changed topic. That’s why the blog is really helpful for me. That being said, I will make a request from the class: that if I do share some idea or try to work through concepts vocally, that y’all have patience.
And I want to throw out that I am always willing to decompress with people who are free after class.
Sarah: yes I think that's a good call to stop and get everyone clear on things during convos.
Trina/Addie: Absolutely. curiosity is the money. It also brings with it a sense of respect and is very non-threatening and productive.
-Kelsey
(did anyone else think we could make Jordana's idea of code names really awesome? mine's gonna be.... the silva bullet)
way to be a capitalist, silva bullet, curiosity isn't the money, it's the vegan organic bicycle-friendly androgenous non-oppressor...duh
ReplyDelete-addie aka baddie
Yes!!!
ReplyDeleteShawna (aka CompostQueen)